Katy Perry is Changing My Life--and How I Speak

Yes, the super mega pop star is not only changing my taste in music--but my life as well. Through the years Katy Perry has been gradually influencing my life and how I lead it. 


First she taught me how to kiss a girl.

How to live in Vegas. 

And how to party hard on a Friday night. 

Now, she's teaching and touching me in different ways--phonetically to be exact.

When I first heard the song I thought, "Na-na. This sounds completely awkward! Who says uncondiTIONally, anyway? Way to go screwing with pronunciation, Katy." 

Little did I know, I was in for a rude awakening. As awkward as her singing was, a hook is a hook. And Katy Perry is a seasoned master of the craft of hooking people into her songs. So after a few more listens, I was converted into her phonetic ideal and have seen the error of my ways. 

See, I knew those experts at the Society of Proper Stress and Intonation Academy were wrong. It's Uncondi-TION-ally not Uncon-DI-tionally. Right, Hermione?

"It's uncondi-TION-ally. Not uncon-DI-tionally."

So thank you Katy Perry because now I finally see the light to the proper phonetic tunnel. 

I only pray that I see you there--Unconditionally waiting. 

**No. The Society of Proper Stress and Intonation Academy does not exist.